What is emotional intelligence?
Peter Salovey and John Mayer, two psychologists introduced the concept of emotional intelligence in 1990 in joint research published in the New York Times. According to them, emotional intelligence is a set of skills that enables a person to acknowledge, understand, and manage one’s emotions as well as acknowledge, understand, and influence the emotions of others. It also includes the ability to use emotions to direct, plan and succeed in life.
Thirty-four years ago, there was a worldwide debate on the utility of emotions – whether they are adaptive or disruptive forces. So revolutionary was the concept of emotional intelligence that the New York Times published an article about it. Daniel Goleman, psychologist, and science journalist developed an interest in the subject and conducted his own research and wrote a book on his findings. The book entitled “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” became a New York Times bestseller for one and a half years and was translated to forty languages.
Why is it useful?
In his book, Daniel Goleman stated our mental life is a dichotomy between the emotional and rational mind. The emotional mind is driven by feelings, characterized as being impulsive and powerful, sometimes even illogical. The rational mind on the other hand is driven by logic, possesses awareness, deeply reflective and thoughtful. This is illustrated by a person who resolves to let go of a family member who recently died, to move on with life. At the same time, that person every so often is moved to tears when reminded of the memories shared with the deceased family member. An emotionally intelligent person is one who can control his emotions and maintain the balance between these two semi-independent minds that guide us in navigating life.
Although there is a steady balance of feelings-to-logic control over our mind, intense feelings tip the scales in favor of the emotional mind, leaving the rational mind ineffectual. In pre-historic times, when man either hunts or is being hunted, the instantaneous response guided by emotions meant survival from external threats, while pausing to think results to injury or demise.
Fast forward to the 21st century where times have changed, and the new fields of social and emotional learning have been taught by teachers in the classroom as the world understood its importance. Adults desire emotional intelligence in their partners, parents want their kids to learn it and CEO’s see it as essential to teamwork and productivity, that recruiters formulate questions to gauge it. Indeed, preliminary research shows possessing the skills to accurately assess and regulate emotions of oneself and others do matter to achieve in life. People are found to be thriving – happier, healthier, and more productive.
How important is expanding your emotional vocabulary?
Have you ever felt an uncomfortable emotion which is hard to identify or explain? You may say it is just bad mood. But according to Katrina McCoy, PhD, a psychotherapist, “the ability to precisely name a wide range of emotions, plays a critical role in psychological wellness.” How does this work? Also called emotional granularity, the ability to precisely label your emotions can make you feel better and with time, increase your psychological well-being. Research by Kashdan, Barrett, and McKnight in 2015 on emotional granularity revealed that people who can describe their emotions accurately, i.e. feeling mad, embarrassed, and sad, while under stress can deal more effectively with those emotions than those who use vague language such as bad mood. These people are found to less likely engage in potentially unsafe coping behaviors such as self-harm, drinking, or verbal violence against others. Another finding of the 2015 research is that incidents of anxiety and depression are less severely experienced by the same people.
Our rational and emotional mind compliment each other and operate in harmony to show the way as we navigate through life. When our passions run high, the equilibrium tips and the emotional mind dominates, overwhelming the rational mind. It is during these situations that we need the skills of emotional granularity to prevent our emotions from taking over us, allowing us to act in an emotionally intelligent manner.
References:
1. Salovey, P and Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional Intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 9(3), 185-211. https://doi.org/10.2190/DUGG-P24E-52WK-6CDG
3. Goleman, Daniel : Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ copyright 1995
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-the-right-words/202310/calling-emotions-by-name Assessed and Endorsed by the MedReport Medical Review Board